mastodon
4.5.6
Be kind and stay weird.
Your daily affirmation:
Don't worry if you haven't reached your full and terrifying final form yet. Fake your monstrosity until you make it.
Do you like spending time by the sea, perhaps for eternity? Follow these simple steps:
- find a charming village on the coast
- marry a wealthy Victorian whaling captain who owns a crumbling cliffside castle
- become a widow
- become a ghost
Success!
It's ok to be yourself, and it's ok to not feel ok.
It's also ok to collect weird bones from the forest and create a terrifying tiara to wear to the market on a cheese run.
Your daily affirmation:
Every day is a brand new day, and a new chance to turn into a gnarled oak tree who watches over a sunny meadow in the forest.
What's your early Spring look?
You deserve happiness & nice things.
You deserve enchanted slacks & some cool new boots.
You deserve to share boozy milkshakes with the old forest gods at the abandoned drive-in movie theater off the highway.
You know the one.
Your daily affirmation:
You can't please everyone all the time. There is a certain freedom in disappointing others.
If your mind was a house, how would it be described?
You are not alone.
The human body hosts 39 trillion bacteria, so if you think about it, you have trillions of friends.
There's nothing wrong with you, and you are not broken.
The world that should offer us peace, warmth, boozy milkshakes, bright starry skies, and magic towers made of books is broken.
Your daily affirmation:
Be as bold as you need to be. Be as wild as you want to be. And be as weird as you possibly can be.
What's your favorite kind of monster?
Help wanted:
The forest needs someone to skulk through the shadows.
The moors need someone to wander through the mists.
The gothic mansion needs someone to haunt the hallways.
The crumbling castle needs someone to creep through the catacombs.
Apply today!
Your daily fortune:
Today you will feel like a vampire - pale, timeless, and thirsty for life.
What's your favorite color?
Lost dog alert!
Princess Sparkle has gone missing!
Be on the lookout for her:
- luxurious white fur
- 4 sets of antlers
- 3 tusks
- writhing grey tentacles
- halo of Eldritch hellfire
If you spot her, please run for your life!
Thanks!
Some people hear the call of the wild, but the only call I respond to is the call of the mild, which includes hiding in a pillow fort with books & tea.
Your daily affirmation:
Being called strange is a badge of honor, but you can be stranger still. Don't hold back.
What's your favorite kind of music?
Mondays aren't real and time is a human construct.
Tell your boss the only cycles you respond to are the fog creeping through ancient trees and the mating habits of mountain beavers.
Your daily fortune:
Today you will fight self doubt and win. Later, you will have a stalemate with boredom, and lose a battle with ennui.
It's never too late to care.
It's never too late to try new things.
It's never too late to read banned books.
It's never too late to disappear into a sinister fog.
It's never too late to become the shambling forest horror of your dreams.
The only true bathing is forest bathing.
Lie down in the shadows between ancient trees.
Let the mossy gloom wash over you.
Let your talons, fangs, and antlers grow with wild abandon.
The forest accepts you as you are, and who you will become.
Your daily affirmation:
Life is what you make it. So make art, make mischief, make a joyful mess and get on with it.
Remember:
No matter where you are in life or what twisted roads you've traveled down, you're never far away from a mossy haunted cottage hiding in the woods, wreathed in gloom and malice.
Take comfort in that.
Community news!
Volunteers are needed to search the lonely hill of goat tombs for the last group of volunteers sent to the lonely hill of goat tombs.
Don't give up on your dreams.
If you wish to disappear into a malevolent fog and become a legendary tentacled monstrosity that haunts seaside towns, I know you can do it.
I believe in you.
Aches and pains in your bones is nature's way of telling you to grow that exoskeleton you've always been dreaming about.
Should we wander into a malevolent fog?
Should we sharpen our antlers with enchanted daggers?
Should we perform dark ceremonies to release the old gods of the forest from their hidden tombs?
The answer is always yes.
If you think about it, most of us are just one small decision away from having to swordfight a group of animated skeletons brought to life by a deranged dark wizard.
What's your favorite kind of sea creature?
Remember.
If you don't know which person in your friend group is possessed by an ancient and nameless cosmic horror brimming with unspeakable hungers and malice, it's probably you.
Never give up.
If you ever wish to gain some mild esteem for writing erotic novels about moon ghosts, or for collecting weird bones from the forest, I know you can do it.
I believe in you.
Most economists agree that by the time you're 50, you should be living in a book-filled cottage at the edge of the forest and solving minor mysteries in your village with the aid of a curious ghost cat.
It's ok to not feel ok.
It's ok if your antlers haven't grown in yet.
It's ok if you can't shape-shift into a raven.
It's ok if you haven't haunted the night for a while.
I know you're doing your best, and that's all any of us can do right now.
What's your favorite kind of tree?
Did you know?
- certain trees get important nutrients from human bones
- other trees collect souls and trap them in their ring labyrinths
- most trees agree that squirrels are jerks
- 3% of trees are named Dennis